The Older We Get

“When I was a child, I thought as a child.” Remember thinking our parents had it easy? They could sleep late if they wanted to, could eat whatever they wanted, and didn’t have any worries, any pressures. We couldn’t wait to grow up.

family smallI had a sheltered childhood. My parents had great confidence in me, and always told me I was smart and I could do anything I set out to do. I believed them. But then… what was that ‘D’ doing at the top of my science paper? Wait a minute. I ran for class Vice-President and wasn’t elected. I tried out for cheerleader and didn’t make it.

I ran home and hid in the closet. I worried. My parents couldn’t be wrong, so it must be me. I was failing them! What if they hated me because I didn’t live up to their expectations? Okay – time for damage control. Grades and studying were discussed. Studying! Who knew? I learned I had to work for what I wanted. But I still worried that the boys wouldn’t like me. Life wasn’t easy.

You’d think that there must be some magic day in your life. Some morning when you wake up and say to yourself, Finally. I’m my own person. Sorry. We find out if we sleep in, we’ll be late for work, and we’ll get fired. Oh -so that’s why the White Rabbit ran around with a watch. Eat what we want? What about blood pressure and cholesterol and ulcers and… Gee – Alice’s strange mushrooms would really upset our systems, and we won’t even talk about that tea party. 

As for being able to do what we wanted - ournewsflash  bosses, editors, publishers and others hound us about work to be done and deadlines and apointments to be kept. And ever hear of the IRS? Our spouses make demands; our kids crave attention, when all we want to do is watch the football game or read a book, or write. 

And  boy, did we get that ‘not worrying’ thing wrong. College. Marriage. Parenting. Our first, second, third and current jobs.  We have to live with the decisions we make, and can’t run home and hide, or call our Dad to come and bail us out (Uh-oh. TMI.). 

red parachutesWhether in our writing or in our every-day lives (which is nice when it’s the same thing), we need support groups, friends and family, mentors, organizations, or therapists. They help bounce around our ideas and find the pros and cons, hand us a parachute, pull us back from the edge of a cliff, or pat us on the back when it’s good. We look at what other writers are doing and wonder why WE can’t come up with all those ideas (is this pencil envy?). We listen to the voice of experience and wonder if we will ever get there. What’s worse is those experienced people feel the same way. Who knew?

It seems the older I get, the more advice I seek from family, friends, and even perfect strangers. You too? Was there a time when you decided you were really grown up? I am 65 years old, and still seek my parents’ advice. 

I sure didn’t see that coming.

7 Responses

  1. Antionette Mitchell
    Antionette Mitchell September 5, 2013 at 9:38 pm |

    The older we get the wiser we become. Once we come out of the sheltered place where mom and dad, friends and relatives protected us, life became a reality. What should one do when the “suddenly” happens. I am grown, have chldren, a job and a spouse. Wow! this is certainly different than pretending as a child. Viewing life as we become older has many avantages as we use our wisdom of “being a grown-up” with the next generation. Thanks Gayle for helping us appreciate the old and new way of life.
    Antionette Mitchell

  2. Gayle Glass
    Gayle Glass September 5, 2013 at 7:37 am |

    I love that ‘own citizen’ phrase…wish I had come up with it! Thanks for the comment.

  3. the little princess
    the little princess September 5, 2013 at 1:55 am |

    we never really grow up or stop worrying, do we? but thank god for family and friends , we would be totally lost if not for them!! i think, if life were not such a challenge, there would be no fun waking up each day..isn’t it?

  4. bzirk
    bzirk September 4, 2013 at 5:32 pm |

    On my oldest daughter’s 18th birthday, her wise younger brother advised her that she had officially become her own citizen. We laugh about it 12 years later.. and remind each other when bad things happen, that as our ‘own citizens’, we have to make our own changes. Also, on the pencil envy thing.. I’ve got it bad. Every time I read a book I love.. I’m depressed because I didn’t write it .. and may never. Good article..

  5. sandra harrison
    sandra harrison September 4, 2013 at 8:56 am |

    This post is so relateable(is that even a real word?)to my life. Keep up the good work/words.

  6. Peggy Sanders
    Peggy Sanders September 4, 2013 at 7:47 am |

    I had so many of those magic days in my 30s and 40s when I just knew I was at the top of my game. And then what happens? You loose your grip on the pretty balloon and it flies away, and then you look down and see the top of your ice cream cone splatted on the sidewalk. Sigh.

  7. dotlatjohn
    dotlatjohn September 3, 2013 at 10:41 am |

    Good thoughts about growing up and coming face to face with world outside our home base. I think all of us have memories of how it felt to be a smaller cog in a big system. Everyone has areas of insecurity and fear of rejection and yes, we need to be there to encourage one another! Good post!

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