One of the things I notice when I’m critiquing is the way the scene and story unfold.  Often an author will give me a ride on a Tilt-a-Whirl.  He’ll show me something, jerk me to another thing, then another, then oh yes, back to the first, but wait, did you see this, too?  It simply has no focus.

I tell them to try a few film techniques to fine tune this problem. Panorama/fade in: Start at the farthest point and move in, like sucking them into a whirlpool. Example: Show a view through a window exposing a group of people – crowds of students on a campus.  Move to the ones around the fountain full of autumn leaves.  Then to a few having lunch together.  Then focus on two of the group having an argument.  By that time, the reader is leaning in, waiting to hear the conversation, because you are pulling them closer, closer…

Or reverse the idea.  Fade out: Start with the arguing couple, back out to the rest of the group, further around the fountain, then the whole campus, back through the window. Same ultimate conclusion.  From this point, you could slowly back up one more step… another student watching the couple from the window, or perhaps divulging that the window is from the girl’s room and a book on pregnancy is on the bed.

Now you are ready to proceed. You’ve set the where (campus) when (fall/school year/lunchtime) and who (couple).  You have pulled the reader inside your story and made him curious.  He’s ready for What’s going to happen? and How?

You could just open the door and throw him in, Tilt-a-Whirl style. Giving the reader bits and pieces, unrelated scenes, and having him go halfway through the story before it begins to gel can work. There are a few very successful movies that use this technique - Pulp Fiction and Crash are a couple. But it’s a risk. I know people who walked away from those movies (and books like them) after the first few scenes (or pages) because they didn’t make sense, and they had no patience with them.

If you are a movie or television buff, study your favorites.  See how they set the story up in a way that draws the audience to a point where they are so involved with the story that they will watch to the bitter end.  Find the whirlpool effect.

I don’t know about you, but I want my readers to be sucked into my story, too!